The Spiritual Director of Adoration Ministry Rev. Fr. Mbaka delivered a great moral teachings on marriage and blessed the wedding fingers of the Single and Married. This inspirational ministration on marital issues was garnished with some comic reliefs . The ministration held his listeners spell bound as he tackled this all important issues. This is a must-read for the single, the searching and the married.
“ In Mark 7:37, the Bible says that God has done all things well. Now receive the anointing of divine wellness.
EXEGESIS OF THE STORY OF RUTH ; LESSON TO YOUNG LADIES AND WIDOWS.
You may be asking how did God make all things well when you were not able to give birth in your marriage and in addition to this your husband died? You call yourself a barren widow? You are not the first. Haven’t you heard the story of Ruth? This woman married. She couldn’t give birth to a child and her husband died. She became a barren widow. Even her husband’s relative that was supposed to take her husband’s place died as well. She returned back to Bethlehem with her mother-in-law. There was a great rich man called Boaz. He was a farmer. Ruth would always go to Boaz’s farm to weed there. When other workers were gone, she would stay back to know if there was still some work Boaz would want her to do for him. Whenever she returned early from work, her mother-in-law would ask her to go and know if there was still other work she would help Boaz do. That was humility at work.
In our time, our young ladies are not ready to do this type of work. In fact, they will put on their weavon (classical ekwengbadike weavon, Olugbajie boys weavon, Indian weavon , Brazilian weavon). This Brazilian weavon has caused lots of problems between some husbands and wives in some families. It is just like the artificial finger nails that young ladies fix these days. They don’t know where such artificial nails come from. They could be the finger nails of dead white women. Some of our ladies would fix these artificial nails and will be meandering about looking for who to marry them. When you see such ladies, they will would look like Ochakaamaka . In addition to this, they would climb on top of high heeled foot wears and be walking like Ugoloma. They don’t have such time to go and work in anybody’s farm.
They are usually crazy with the latest perfume in vogue. They don’t have the time to farm or go and look for someone to help out. Such ladies cannot while in a bus, stand up for an older woman to sit.
This type of life is contrary to the life of Ruth. Ruth was a model; she was serving in the farm. When you tell some ladies to farm, they will tell you “I am a graduate. I graduated ten years ago and I am searching for a job”.
PRIDE AND SEARCH FOR ALREADY MADE; WHY SOME YOUNG LADIES REMAIN UNMARRIED
God demands humility from you first before you can be exalted. You have to stoop low to conquer. He who cannot stoop low cannot conquer. And Pride goes before a fall. Some young ladies spend their time talking about their mother-in-law; that she is a dirty old woman; that she smells, etc. You don’t know that something good will eventually come out of that old woman.
The reason most of our young ladies are not married is because they are looking for already made husbands. You don’t want to work in the farms. You prefer staying in townships and be selling recharge cards to going back to the village to become a great person. I bless all the farms in this land. I place my hands in our villages and rural areas. I bless the Amankanu land, Awgu land, Oji River villages, villages in Udi and Ezeagu. I bless the rural areas in Ebonyi, Kogi, Imo, Abia and Anambra. I am going rural in entrepreneurial concerns. Hence nothing is moving for you since you came to township. Lets bless the villages and see if things will work out well for you there. I bless every hand that will farm. They shall be like the hand of Boaz and that of Ruth.
GREAT PEOPLE GO EXTRA MILE.
Ruth would always stay back to do extra work in the farm when others were gone. She would gather what others scattered after work. Who gathers in your family when others have left? It is that person that stays back to work when others are gone that will be great. That person that keep, awake when other are sleeping, let me tell you, what you do when others have gone to sleep is what makes you greater. Everybody has 24hours in a day. What are you making out of your own?
Some ladies spend all their time plaiting their hairs. They would spend all their time plaiting tiny hair styles that look like cobwebs. One man complained to me that his wife could spend about three full days plaiting her hair. Is this possible? Don’t they develop strained necks? If this is possible, God forbid!
You don’t know what to do with your time. Do you know that you can study Engineering in the university and upon graduation, you can take up an arts job and put in your engineering experience in it and you will excel and become great. You mustn’t do what you studied in the classroom. Is it not only Philosophy and theology that I studied? Go beyond what the class room has given you.
What I am addressing now is the major reason most of our ladies are unmarried yet. I would want to attend your weddings this year and next year. Most of you are looking for a very wealthy man. You would want to be boasting: “My Fiance said he lives in Turkey”. Let me ask you: what is he doing in Turkey? If he is a mortician in Turkey will be able to marry him?
You don’t want to enjoy your single life and be happy. You are worried that you are not married. Don’t worry. You will soon marry. That is what I have come pray for you. For many of you that are worried over this, if it is only when you marry that you will say that God has done all things well, then get ready to marry soon.
LAZY MEN: AN ABERRATION
We have some young men that are lazy on their part. They would profess “I want to be great; I want to be rich; I claim greatness”. But when they go out, they would use their last money to buy drinks “O mpa”. Is that how you will become a great rich man? There is no easy road to greatness.
For the men here, Boaz was an industrious man. He was a man who wanted to suffer. He was a man who believed that after he had suffered for a little while, God would settle him. He was a man that would go to the office in the morning and retire at night. When others are gone, he would be seeing only one woman that was industrious, Ruth. Likes attract likes and birds of a feather flock together.
Many men and women are incompatibles and when incompatibles marry, you will experience catastrophe in the family. No peace, no joy. Their problems are invisible. The woman may be hardworking while the man is a weakling-. a situation where a man will sit at home waiting for his wife to provide the money for the family needs. This is abominable. Man should be the bread-winner.
Sometime ago, someone threw in her wedding card inside my car. I stopped, picked up the card and was going through it while she continued to rejoice saying, “Daddy, Jesus has answered me. Daddy you will officiate my wedding”. I asked her when is the wedding coming up? She replied that I should choose any date. I asked her: ‘how can you tell me to choose any date when already you have a date in your card?’. I looked at her age and observed that desperation to get married was her major drive. May you never be desperate in vocational matters.
All you need to do is to pray. When God sends a good husband to you, marry him. You must not marry like others. What people would say should not be the determinant of your marriage choice. An ugly good man with strong gene may come and you will turn him down because you are considering that people say upon all your beauty, you married this man’. Don’t you know that you can crossbreed the family with your beautiful gene and produce a beautiful strong gene? If the man is too dark and you are very fair and beautiful, it is a good crossbreeding match.
So when the lady gave me the card, I asked her did you pray over that marriage? She told me no because she may pray and the Spirit of God would tell her to leave the man. Watch it! Desperation! So, I asked her ‘so what do you want me to do?” She told me to come and wed them that once I was the one that wedded them even if there was something wrong , the heavens could right the wrongs. You don’t tempt God. She told me to pray for her so that the man would be finically stable. I asked her who was organizing the wedding and she told me she was the one. I asked her who was organizing the traditional marriage she said she was the one. Who then is the man?
That wedding is coming up next month. God in heaven knows I will not attend the wedding because the story revealed about the man in the premarital inquiry is too much.
ARTIFICIAL NAILS AND EYELIDS NOT A SIN; YET NOT GOOD FOR YOU
I will bless your wedding fingers now. After this, go and remove those artificial nails that you fixed on. Some of you would use your last money to buy a white woman’s eye lid (artificial eye lids) and fix it on your eyelids after and would be looking like ikwuikwui, owls and witches. I am not saying that this is a sin. There are so many things that are not good yet they are not sin.
Some ladies would rather spend their time in applying perfumes all over their bodies, instead of washing their bodies with soap that has a nice scent, morning, afternoon and evening. They forget that some men are allergic to perfume odours. Once they come near such men, they will have catarrh because they may be asthmatic. Such a man would report to his mother that he loves you but it appears you are a charm-maker because each time he comes near you, he will have catarrh. So, take it easy with the perfume you apply on your body.
DECEIT OF HIGH HEELED SHOES
For those young ladies that climb on top of high heels, they should be careful. If you don’t want to suffer from early arthritis, beware of wearing high shoes because it will affect your ankle nerves and veins. This is medically true. Your ankles will become weak by the time you clock fifties because the bone at that part of the body is not meant for that type of position. Orthopedically, you are not helping your bones or your veins nor your arteries in the ankle. You should wear balanced shoes. If you are short, welcome it so. There are men looking for short women to marry. Don’t go and climb high heel so that you become tall because by the time you deceive the man with your height on the way, the day he will meet you putting on slippers at home he will run away. Come down from that high heel.
GENERAL ADVICE: BE YOUR SELF
You are always wary of what people will say. Who will say what? When you people come to church, you will be deceiving one another living pretentious life. When the priest says, “Go in peace, the mass is ended” no one knows where the other goes to. No one can tell how the other lives or what the other faces in his or family. Don’t mind them, let them gossip. After blessing you today, go and marry that man whom you are convinced in your heart will be the one to marry you. It doesn’t matter if doesn’t have a car. Many of us were trekking. I walked to the church today. Did it take away anything from me? I deliberately parked my car and took a walk into the church. Am I not the same Ejike Mbaka that was tapping wine in the village? Am I not the same person that used to farm in the village with pick and hoes and my father would be commending me? That was my days of little beginning. You don’t want to farm?
Our problem these days is that even men are robbing ointments that soften their hands. Some men here have perforated ears and are more feminine than their wives. There was one man that beat up his wife one day because she refused to call him “Baby”. The woman’s reason for refusing to call him “baby” was because she said she was the one that was meant to be called “baby” and not the other way round.
In conclusion, I bless your wedding fingers. May the ring that will enter this finger be blessed? Some people say that they are cursed not to marry; we come against every spirit of curse with Holy Ghost fire.
WEALTH NOT THE CRITERIA FOR CHOICE-MAKING IN MARRIAGE.
If the man is rich, there is no problem. If the man is poor there no trouble. My father, Ogbuefi and my mother, Felicia were not rich when they married. Was your own father and mother that rich when they married? You are their products, so work hard and prosper. Stop looking for already made men or women. Learn something from this; Someone like me starts to train children from nursery school. At that time no one knew what the child would become. I would train the child in primary school, then secondary and tertiary schools. Many of those I started training this way when we were worshiping at GTC are now graduates of high reputation. I would be happy to reap the fruit of what I sowed myself.
BEWARE OF ALREDY-MADE
Be careful of already-made. If it is not too long, it will be too short. Go to the tailor on your own so that he can take your measurement and sew the one that will fit you. Out of all the already-made suits that people give me, none of them has ever sized me. The pair of the suit trousers is always over-sized. Is it that the suit and pair of trousers of my size are not sold in the market? Be it Italian suit or whatever, they are always longer than me. That is already-made for you. I would always take them to the tailors to mend it to my size. One day, I went to the tailor and told him, take my measurement and sew a suit for me: come and see the suit with perfect match he made for me.
Shoes have sizes: men have sizes: women have sizes: destinies have sizes: and husband and wife have sizes. I bless your destiny. Marry the man that God gives you. Don’t marry a man because he is very rich. Don’t marry a man because he has manly stature. Don’t marry a man because he is fair and handsome. You will be the one to complain after marrying a man because he is handsome, that other women want to snatch him from you. Are you the only one that saw that “beautiful” man, that fine with boy no pimple? When a woman will be making up herself in a mirror and her husband is doing the same, will hunger not kill them?
If you are ready to marry a man or woman because of his riches or her beauty respectively, be ready as well to ensure that you broke all his or her old relationships otherwise you will keep complaining morning, afternoon and evening. This is because it is either he or she calls them on phone or they will call him or her on phone.
HOW GSM PHONES HAVE RUINED SOME MARRIAGES
Once you see your husband hiding his phone from you, know that he has started living a bad life. I am not telling you to believe this or not but I am telling you what my spirit tells me to say. How can a man put a code unknown to his wife but known only to him in his phone? Are you insane? How can you still call such a thing marriage? It is no longer a marriage. It has gone sour. So, I bless every slippery marriage that is about falling into the valley of divorce. May God deliver you.
As for the men, once your wife starts hiding to answer her call, then there is trouble. Her phone would beep while she is on the bed with her husband and she would sneak to receive the call, just know that the woman has started living a bad life.
A good husband and wife can be using their phones together. Your wife should know the code to unlock your phone and vice versa. In certain days, you can give your phone to your wife and tell her, “Honey please, I wouldn’t have time. Take my phone, any call that comes, answer it. Any text that comes in, reply it”. That is marital model.
When do you think you can stop your hide and seek? One day if you are not caught in the waist, you will be caught in the tail or in the hand.
One day, at the front of NnamdIAzikiwe Stadium, the police held one naked man. Why? A husband, unknown to his wife, inserted one code in the wife’s phone so that every call that came to the wife’s phone the husband would receive it and every text that came to the wife’s phone went to the husband as well. There is a way they hack into your line to achieve this. So the wife of this man was chatting with her man friend as they were fixing up appointment on where they will meet. The husband was receiving the conversation and alerted the police. The wife showed up where they had the appointment and went to meet the man friend. Her husband waited for about 20 minutes, then stormed the wife and her man friend naked. The worst part was that the naked man friend of this woman has a wife at home; a pregnant wife at that.
You think your phone can hide you? Many phone lines are bogged. Some women are smarter than their husbands. They can hack their husbands’ phones and the man will be moving about thinking that the wife doesn’t hear his secret deals. Even that man that wants to marry you may have done this to your phone and you don’t know.
Our people are good at learning negative things faster than the positive ones.