Tuesday , 31 January 2023


It won’t happen,” the girl yelled on top of her voice.  “It won’t! I say it won’t!” she retorted.  “But if it eventually does, all of us: you-Gabriel, she-Chinenye and me-Natasha, will perish.  I assure you; we shall all perish. All of us.  I can assure you of that!  I will make sure that all of us cease to exist.” Natasha has been done in.  She has been disappointed, used by Gabriel and squarely thrown into the trash can!

Many girls have experienced what Natasha is going through.  Some are in the process of living out the experience.  Natasha is 34.  Five years ago, she had met Gabriel, a tall and handsome youngman, promising, to say the least.

Gabriel works in a very solvent company, a senior staff who is commonly regarded by most of the company’s staff as very industrious.  All these Natasha discovered after the first month of their relationship.  “You’re lucky,” Ego, one of Gabriel’s colleagues in the office, told Natasha.  Having discovered these, she had decided that Gabriel was truly qualified to be lured to the altar.  And she truly began the scheme.  Everything Gabriel wanted was given to him.  Sex was a daily activity.  Even when he didn’t want it, Natasha offered it.  Although she was aware that the practice was ungodly, she was determined to give it if that was what would make him propose to her.

Gabriel was on a very fat salary.  For a senior staff in an oil servicing company in Port Harcourt, money was by no means, not an impediment.  But Natasha didn’t care. She would use her money to achieve her aim.  When she got married to him, she would recoupe her money.  To achieve this, she schemed herself into Gabriel’s house, gradually sending her clothes, and other personal effects into his house.  Of the five days she went to work in the week, three were actually done from Gabriel’s house.

During this period, she took care of all the kitchen expenses and would ensure that nothing was lacking, without demanding money from him.

The young man was enjoying himself.  He was really having fun.  Each time he came home, food would be readily served, at Natasha’s expense. His bath water would be ready.  Natasha would be all over him-cuddling, pampering and calling him pet names.  He would be asked of the difficult moments of the day at work and as soon as he indicated any, Natasha was ready to suit his pain with sweet and encouraging advice, garnished with kisses and cuddles.  His dirty clothes, which he used to take to the laundry, was now cleaned and ironed by Natasha.

Unfortunately, Natasha was not in love.  And neither was Gabriel.  Our young lady was simply obsessed by the desire to get hooked.  She wanted to get married by all means and Gabriel appeared to be a perfect match.  Nothing to her suggested otherwise.  She was 34 and time was running out.  Her friends had all got married.  Some already had children.  Uju was in London with her husband.  Nkoli already had two children and was now heavy with another pregnancy.  Although things were working out for her, Kingsley-her husband-was not as financially stable as Gabriel.  She must get married to Gabriel this year and begin her own family.

The obsession to marry Gabriel completely blindfolded Natasha.  She forgot to put other factors about marriage into consideration.  Who is Gabriel?  Does he love her?  Had he married another woman before they met?  Is Gabriel temperamental?  If he is, can Natasha handle?

What about his educational background?  He is a senior staff of an oil-servicing company.  But if he is sacked, does Gabriel have an alternative means of livelihood with which to sustain the family?    If they begin a family, can she cope without Gabriel, assuming he eventually decides to divorce her, or death snatches him away?

Does she know his family very well?  In Igbo culture, a wife is not married by her husband alone.  If Gabriel suddenly becomes impossible after wedlock, or death snatches him away pre-maturely, will Natasha have support from his family to continue the journey of tending the children? More importantly, has she brought God into the relationship?  Too many unanswered questions!

Because she was blindfolded by the urge to look like her peers, Natasha lost track.  Her gaze was on the crave to get married.  She wanted to be like her friends.  So, she forgot to trade with caution.

Today, Natasha is a divorcee!  Gabriel did not consider her the true rib that he must find.  He was aware that she wanted to get married and only gave her the chance.  The fact that both of them were not in love crashed the relationship.

The presence of love is the major foundation on which marriage must be built.  God said it.  And whether man or woman admits this or not, that is what it is, and that, it will remain!  Marriage is patience.  And love is the only reason why patience exists.  The Almighty God loves you and I, He was patient with us while we disobeyed His commandments, it was because He loved and still loves us.

That’s why physical attraction must play second fiddle in our quest to choose our partner.  Today, those of us who are seeking our missing ribs must endeavour to place our desire before God in prayer.  Remember, He does not say no to good intentions.  About this marriage, he says: “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing…” It is also necessary to add that your faith will make thee well.  God will take us to that genuine girl called ‘wife.’  He only, will lead our girl to Mr. Right so that although life, although our marriages, His presence will be felt.  He will be the guide and our guard.

Take it to Him in prayer.  Pray without ceasing concerning your marriage and you will live to testify about it’s success.

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