Nagging Kills! It kills your partner that man, or woman whom you once regarded as the greatest gift from the Almighty God.
One very unpleasant attribute of nagging is that it destroys the peace of the mind. It destroys the real joy of existence. Being a nag is as unpleasant as being nagged at. That is the major reason it should be avoided.
No living soul-man or woman-enjoys an atmosphere of nagging. The reason is very simple: It destroys the excitement of every relationship.
One of the simple reasons why people nag in relationships is stress. Stress arises from pressure. In our daily life, we go about encountering one problem or the other. The identification of these problems result in various nervous attacks on our psyche.
Depending on who we are, such attacks mount increasing pressure on our mentality, thus result in stress. Nagging, in most cases, is the outward reaction to this stress.
It is no wonder than that each time we nag, the effect is mostly borne by those who are close to us, who are near to us. Those who are always close to us are our loved ones. They are the people who cherish us. If they are not yet married to us, then, nice out of ten chances are that we shall one day, be married to them. If we are already married, then, they are our wives, or husbands!
Unfortunately, the major problem with our relationships today is that we do not know how to successfully control nagging! If you are a spinster for instance, your inability to eliminate nagging from your present relationship may be the major reason why that young man has not suggested that both of you begin the process of marriage. He has often told you that you possess enough of the qualities he expects in a wife. In his goodmood, he always confesses that you are his angel. He had severally thanked God in your presence for making him meet you.
But he has remained evasive each time you suggested seeing your people. Nagging may be the ONLY reason. You nag! And he’s still grappling with the idea of whether to make you his wife or not. He’s yet to evolve a formula to control your nagging threats. It is clear that he cannot live with you nagging. You will destroy his happiness. He does not want that. Every other thing in you can be tolerated. But this nagging cannot!
So, beautiful woman, you are the one delaying your own destiny. Yet everyday you cry to God in prayer to make your spouse propose to you. God has since answered your prayer. Look at yourself. You are beautiful not just good-looking. Bachelors won’t mind having you.
Unfortunately, you do not realize that you locked your destiny by yourself and carefully hid the key!
How did you do this? Nagging! You think you are brave each time you nag. “I can’t fear any man,” you always say. “I’m not a push-over. I will tell you how I feel. If you don’t like it, go to hell.”
There are always you confrontational words. But like we always say: What you sow is what you reap. Today, men have branded you an untouchable. That man you have a relationship with is pretending. He is pretending because he has since proved to himself that because you nag, you are an untouchable. You will be an unbearable wife. No one wants an unbearable wife. No man dreams of living with a nagging wife. Such a man dies before his time. Nobody wants to die before his time.
What should you do? Change! The virtuous woman is that which organizes her family, dutifully, beginning from her husband. Take your proper position behind the man. If you are courting one another, you have a place in the relationship. If you are already married, you also have a position in the marriage. As a woman, your position is always that at which hardwork and support will be provided to you man. There is no limit to the sacrifice towards this direction. In achieving this, you must be level-headed. Always. Even when you’re under pressure, or stress is taking a better part of you, it is always right to remember that your man must not be nagged at.
Mrs. Angela Ibeto is a veritable example. She has a very radical solution to nagging: “Nagging almost destroyed my relationship with my husband,” she said. “Before we got married, we used to be on top of the world. We went to places, did things together. But I never really noticed that even then, I used to nag. My husband didn’t care about it but made sure he provided all my needs.
He would pet me, cuddle me and made sure I was comfortable. Then we got married! The man began to accept more family responsibilities and stoutly left definite roles to me to perform, like doing household chores and taking care of the children.
“Pressure came on me. Each day, by the time I finished with the work in the house, it would be evening. I started nagging. Nothing that happened in our home excited me anymore. I became very critical of my husband. He represented a cheat in my eyes. As far as I was concerned, I was suffering and the only way to get back at him was to shout and bark. Even when I needed help, the manner at which I would present the request was debilitatingly insultive.
My husband became frustrated. He was always sad at the sight of me, at the mere hearing of my voice.”
“At a point I came to my senses, I saw that my marriage was heading for the rock. I had to do something. I prayed to God for wisdom. He heard me. First, I stopped barking and shouting at my husband. I saw that it worked. He started relaxing; he started coming back early from work. Then, one day, I woke him up. It was 4am. I said: daddy, I need to talk to you. He didn’t believe it was me. I stopped calling him ‘daddy’ many years ago when I started nagging to his face.”
“I told him I was sorry for nagging. I thanked him for his patience all the years that I lost my senses. I promised to stop nagging and then, pleaded that he assisted me overcome the negative virtue.
That did it for Angela! Her husband’s immediate reaction was to cry profusely, like a baby. Angela joined him. It was pathetic. The man had to cry, to be able to let out mounting emotion bottled up him for years. He had lived a life of patience and perseverance since his wife started nagging. He told her exactly that. The only reason the marriage lingered was the presence of their children.
Angela was lucky. Other marriage survived after that grant event. But she immediately turned a new leaf. Of all things, she agreed with her husband that the best way to assist her overcome nagging was to ensure that husband and wife do not assign duties to one another. Do whatever chores you feel to assist the family cause. From that moment, they never told each: “Get me a diaper, make the bed for me,” etc.
That provided the magic. Even if we cannot reach that point, most women could cut back on nagging by always bearing in mind that nagging doesn’t work.