By Fidelia Asogwa
It is true that all relationships must not end in marriage not just because the people involved are not good enough but that there are factors that cannot be overlooked for such relationship to metamorphose into marriage.
So many people especially women cry over broken relationships or being dumped after sacrificing and investing into relationships that end abruptly. As a woman, this experiences leave you wonder what actually could be the problem. You may ask, could the problem be coming from your partner or what? Why couldn’t he go further to ask you to spend the rest of your life with him? Such questions may be ringing in your mind and you keep asking without getting an answer.
It is time to evaluate yourself to know whether there are things you are actually doing wrong that drive men off from you. Meticulously check these types of women that men do not want to marry and see whether you are among the list.
Miss “hard”: It is true a woman should not cheapen herself to a man rather she should place a value on her worth, but then playing too hard-to-get may actually drive off a serious man who may desire to have a serious relationship with you. Instead of you to understand and evaluate when a man is serious and then give him a chance, you start dribbling him up and down like a football. And then after dribbling him, you want him to persist chasing after you as if you are the queen of England. I want you to know that most serious minded men do not have such time. Once they discover you are not serious or that you are a dribbler, they leave you and keep straight in further search of what they want. Now, how many men have you dribbled and then regret after they might have gone? Was the dribbling necessary? Why do you play too hard-to-get when in the actual sense you are interested?
When a man has want you need and he is serious about having a relationship with you, there is no need dribbling so he keeps on chasing you. Just be straight and give him a chance. Remember that as you are dribbling him, he is also busy looking for someone else and once he meets a smarter one out there, he leaves you behind. Check yourself and know whether your dribbling tactics or hard-to-get style had been why you haven’t hooked up with any man.
Miss “I must change him”: This type of woman in the first instance may not play hard-to-get but once you show interest in having a relationship, she would want to change everything about you most times by force. First, she may demand you change all your friends since to her they are mediocres that do not meet up to standard. She would want you to change all your wardrobe even when she will not offer to buy you any. She condemns whatever you put on and makes you feel like a low class without even considering how much you have in the pocket.
One thing you must know as a woman is that no man wants you to change him overnight especially when you do not utilize adequate wisdom in doing that. He wants to be himself and be secured in his own right. Even if you must change some things in a man, do not act in such a way that makes him feel insecure with you. Only an insecured or a man with inferiority complex allows you to change him. And as a wise woman, you may not like such a man.
Has such attitude chased men away from you? Evaluate yourself and restrategize so you do not keep chasing them off thinking it is not just meant to be even when it is meant to be but your attitude drove them off.
Miss “Suspiciously jealous”: This woman is on the edge all the time because she is very distrusting. Many times, she has been hurt in the past, so she is on guard for anything that looks like her past experience. She makes sure she does not take nonsense anymore and always suspicious of the man’s attitude towards her and even other women around him.
When a man first meet this type of woman, he sees her as a damsel in distress and wants to reassure her that he is not like the men in her past. However, once she accuses him too many times, he will have no choice than to leave her because of her seeming unbearable jealous and suspicious mindset.
If you have had heart break in the past, it is better you gather yourself together and put your past behind and move ahead. Do not drive your men away by comparing them with your past or trying to make sure they do not behave like those in your past.
Miss “You are my all and nothing else”: This woman is very difficult for a man to date, let alone marry. At first, the man is happy that she is so much into him, but as time goes on, he feels overwhelmed and suffocated by him. As a woman, you must have something going on in your own life not just revolving around him all the time. You must let him know you care about him, but then you must have other things to think about you must be yourself so he will know you have a mind and brain of your own.
Miss “Elderly”: This woman usually dates older men and deep down her, she is looking for a father figure, not a boyfriend or husband in a man. Initially, the man might like how she looks up to him for approval and the answer to all her questions, but soon he realizes that he wants to be with a soul mate not someone who is stuck in her teen years attitude trying to get father figure from him. I want you to understand that this is not an act of respect but stupidity that is capable of driving any man off.
Miss “I tell my mother everything”: This woman has her mother on speed dial and can’t seem to make a decision or do anything without getting her opinion. When a man first meets her, he thinks it is nice that she is so close to her family, but soon, he finds it to be way too much. A man does not like it when you tell your mother everything and allow her to run your life. You must learn to keep certain things to yourself because men don’t like it when you tell everything going on between you and him to someone else. Such attitude can drive men off you totally.
Miss “Compare”: This type of woman always desires to be as good as everyone else she knows. She is constantly talking about what the other people do and what they have. This kind of attitude places a lot of undue pressure on her man and eventually, he just gets fed up that she can’t appreciate what they have instead always wishing she is someone else. Sometimes you may be doing this unconsciously but then the man is taking note of everything and has his mind to decide to leave you. No man wants a woman who compares him negatively with anyone else not even as a joke.
Miss “Have you heard?” This woman loves to gossip a lot. She also loves to learn and discuss other people around. Most times, she carries peoples’ issues over to someone and discusses in order to gain better friendship with the person. She initiates friendship with someone by discussing about someone else, thinking she is having fun or just entertaining. Initially when a man meets her, he might be entertained by her anecdotes but eventually he begins to wonder what she is saying behind his back. As she discusses others to him, he would be afraid she could also discuss about him to others. Sometimes a feeling of inferiority complex causes this but then you have to seriously work on yourself if you have such gossiping attitude. It could be what is driving men away from you.
Miss “Dress to kill”: Because men are visual being, it is important for you to dress well, but then you don’t have to do it out of proportion. Dressing too expensive as a single woman makes men feel they can’t take care of you if they should come for you. Dressing too sexy and immodest makes men think you are not a wife material. And wearing what is meant for the bed room to every where you can think of makes men think you are just a prostitute. How do you dress? Your dressing can just be the reason why everybody hails you as sexy yet no one comes to have serious or permanent relationship with you. Watch it and know how your dress addresses you.
Miss “Boss”: This woman wants to be the Lord of the home and govern over the man. She is just so domineering that she does not allow the man to utilize his role as the head. She tries to be in charge even when it is not necessary.
As a woman, you should know that no man wants to marry his rival. He wants a woman who will not give him too much headache. He wants you to listen to him first even if you must add your opinion. You do not force a man to take your own opinion or automatically control him as if you are his boss. No man wants a bossy woman as a wife.
Miss “Playing games”: This woman double dates, thinking she is being smart not knowing she is destroying her future. When you double date, you are neither here nor there. And one thing you must know is that men have this, ‘common’ connectivity. They seem to know themselves even when you think they can never catch you playing games. Remember that once a man notices you cannot be trusted, he can never have anything serious to do with you. So be wise and don’t allow your seeming smartness to be foolishness after all. Be sincere and faithful to yourself and to your word.
Miss “No problem”: It is true you must be respectful and submissive to your man but then do not over do it. You must not agree to everything he says or wants. You must have a mind of your own to say no or yes when it is necessary. Don’t let any man take you for a fool all because you want to have him. In fact, men do not like women who are over submissive or who agree to everything they say. So watch it and be firm before your over submissiveness drives him off.
When you lose a relationship, always look inward to know whether you are the cause so you can correct yourself and improve better on the next relationship.