Thursday , 2 February 2023


Pride: The bible has rightly made us to know that he who exalts himself would be brought low.  This applies to some people who place themselves so highly that people who ordinarily would desire to marry them would look the other way round.  These groups of people are so sophisticated that it is either you meet up with their level and expectations or just forget approaching them at all. They have class and they have level that people coming their ways are expected to belong to.

Invariably, some of these people end up being disappointed among the people of that their class circle.   This is because their relationships most times are grounds for rivalry, show-off and competition and not for companionship. Examine your attitude and check whether pride has been the cause of your failed relationships.   No man wants a proud woman.

Lies: Lying also contributes to a large extent why some people experience heart breaks. Take for instance, a lady who has given birth to a baby while in secondary school met a man who desired to marry her and instead of telling him the truth decides to hide.  If he finds out your past by himself, you wouldn’t blame him if he decides to leave you. If you know of anything that when discovered about you by your partner in future concerning your past would destroy your relationship or marriage, it is better to open up.  Let your partner accept you for who you are.

Stinginess: Some people, especially ladies have the belief that only the men should be spending on them and not they spending on the men.  But this should not always be that way.  If you have, it is advisable to also get him some gift items to appreciate him.  Exchange of gifts shouldn’t be one sided.

Inadequate communication:  Any relationship that wishes to stand must not be starved of communication.  Good communication must be constant.  It is not a must he should be the only one always calling.  You as a lady should also call not just flashing or sending call me sms. Issues that provoke you both should not always be discussed.  Imbibe effective communication to grease your relationship.

Inability to handle anger: Anger has destroyed nations, homes, states, relationships and marriages. Inability to control anger has not only destroyed relationships but also destinies.

The first step of controlling anger is for you to accept the fact that you have anger problem and then detect your temperaments and analyze both the primary and the dominant one. Detect your faults; don’t just assume that that is who you are. For instance, Cholerics are usually prone to anger.  Probably it is just part of their make-up though depending on the level of dominance and their secondary temperament.  Do not allow inability to handle or control anger destroy your relationship and leave you heartbroken.

What to do to avoid heartbreak:
  • Do not enter into a relationship aimlessly or without a purpose.
  • Avoid too long relationship.
  • Do not be over-selective.
  • Do not be over dependent on anybody no matter how much you love the person.
  • Do not compare your past relationship with the present. Remember, no two relationships are exactly the same.
  • Do not be selfish or self-centred.
  • Learn to give and appreciate.
  • Remove every trace of pride in you and be humble.
  • Accept your faults when you are wrong.
  • Learn how to use the word “sorry”.
  • Be sincere to yourself and avoid lies.
  • Always pray and allow God to direct your life.
How to get over heartbreak
  • First accept the fact that the relationship could not   work out as expected.
  • If the heartbreak was severe that it moves you to cry, don’t hold back the tears.  Allow them flow; it’s a way of relieving emotional pain.
  • Try as much as possible to keep off pictures, some physical things that remind you of him even songs that you both enjoy together.
  • Don’t isolate yourself.  You can talk to a friend or sibling you trust or believe in so he can encourage you during this trying time.
  • Focus on moving on and concentrate on your work or studies.
  • Be positive about yourself.  Tell yourself you can still have a great future without him/her and that you will be fine.
  • Rebuild your life.  Get engrossed in new things; learn a new skill.  Get busy and don’t be idle.
  • Don’t try to settle for another relationship so quickly so as to avoid falling into false love.  Remember, you need time to heal emotionally and be strong again before going into a new relationship.
  • Stop listening to yourself at this moment. You can listen to music or watch movies.
  • Tell yourself that that was not the end of your life and that better things will come your way.
  • Do not indulge in alcohol or drug in order to get over heartbreak.  These will only complicate the problem.
 How to end a relationship without causing heartbreak

Like I have stated earlier in the previous edition, every relationship must not end in marriage. If you find out that you and your partner always quarrel over every issue and that you both cannot find peace in your relationship, then you both can decide to end the relationship. Or that after critical assessment, you find out there is no future in the relationship, you can just take a bold step and free yourselves. You can actually break up without breaking someone’s heart if you meticulously follow the under listed tips:

  • First of all limit the level of communication.  Remember, communication is the food that sustains any relationship. Once communication is avoided for sometimes, the relationship is as good as dead.
  • Arrange for a time and place where two of you can meet to talk things over in a mature way.  Don’t send text, e-mail or break up over the phone no matter what. Such hurts.
  • Avoid visits or display of affection when you notice the relationship cannot push through.
  • Make up your mind to break the news:  Here you can start by stating some problems you both have gone through in the past and could not handle or state the factors why the relationship should not move ahead.  Make sure you gather enough reasonable reasons why you can’t continue in the relationship. Then announce in a calm and polite manner yet in firm tone that with all the surrounding factors, it will be better for both of you to go your separate ways. Don’t allow the discussion to be too long and don’t depart in anger.
  • Let your word be your bound.  Keep your word.
  • Don’t offer to be friends immediately after break up to avoid re-union.
  • Do the above gradually but firmly in order not to cause heartbreak while breaking up.

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