Nobody is an Island. As human beings, we are social animals who strive on relationship. But because of one reason or the other, the relationship can get broken. This can throw one into emotional and behavioral reactions like depression, fear, confusion, hopelessness, anxiety, loneliness etc. But in a time like this, we need to approach God who is specialist in healing the brokenhearted.
In this message, Fr. Mbaka narrates the instances and the healing processes of heartbreak and encourages the people of God to depend on God for their healing.
From the beginning you were O Lord, till now you are, forever you will ever be. In the book of Rev.1:8, your are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. We adore you Holy One of Israel, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Today, we got a good news from Ps. 147:3, that you O Lord is the healer of broken hearts, the sickness that doctors are not able to heal. No doctor heals heartbreak. Ps. 147:3 says, ’’He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds’’. We have come to the realization of the basic facts that every human being will once upon a time encounter or experience heartbreak. Many people are carrying about inner hurts, unhealed wounds and an emotional stress.
A broken heart feels heavy, laden with sadness and fear but it can heal. While there is no accurate description of what a broken heart feels like, there are emotional reaction and behavior that many who have suffered from a broken heart have experienced. They are not good at all. Some one with a broken heart might have a decreased appetite, disruptive sleep and anxiety about the future. Heartbreak can trigger chemical, emotional and physical reactions that cause one to feel lonely, unlovable, depressed, despair, worthless and bitterness. Poor self-image, low self- esteem, tension and suppressed immune system can set in. Often, people who are suffering from a broken heart tend to worry about the future or obsess over the past.
No one of us is an island. As human beings, we are social animals who thrive on relationships. People come into our lives for different reasons and we are shaped and molded by relationship. When we invest our selves, time, our emotion and our heart into building a life with a person, we are feeding hope and nurturing our happiness and a break up cannot only destroy that happiness but also diminishes or even rob us of any hope of ever finding love again.
Instances of heartbreak
Instances of heartbreak
Someone’s heart can be broken vocationally, financially, economically, emotionally, even politically, and otherwise and at any stage in life. I mean there are so many ways to break one’s heart, but people think that one’s heart can only get broken vocationally, that is suffering from emotional hurt as a result of a disappointment from a partner. Take for instance: if a child is beaten when he/she had not committed any offence, and the parents did not apologize to him/ her, that can leave the child heartbroken. He can carry the inner hurt to the juvenile, even to the adolescent stage. This can even result to the child’s personality disorder.
A child can have heartbreak prenatally. Any time the pregnant woman is not happy, it affects the fetus , psychologically and spiritually. So the emotional and the spiritual disposition of a pregnant woman and even the ecology can affect the baby in the womb.
Some people are having vocational heartbreak. A man that promised to marry you abandoned you for another person at the point you guys are about to get married. You can have so many emotional and even physical reactions as a result of this. This kind of heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences this life has to offer. It makes you feel so lonely, unlovable, depressed, and sad.
Someone may be disgraced publicly, the image dented, laid an allegation, and the character assassinated for the crime he never committed. This kind of a situation can result to a serious heartbreak. May the healing hand of God be laid upon the areas of this heartbreak and other parts of the body that have any other kinds of infirmities in Jesus Name, Amen. In Heb. 13: 8, Christ Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. The same Jesus who has been healing others can heal you.
Someone’s mother who used to be an ardent Christian fell sick and died and the parish priest did not come to burry her because he said she owes the church. This can leave the family members so heartbroken.
If a Rev. Father refused to wed someone because CYON brought a report that they owe them, and as a result of that cancel the wedding, it can leave one heart broken.
Someone will spend so many years in school, graduate, even with first class and come back with no job, even after the promises of job creation by the government. You can imagine the heartbreak. People develop heartbreak when their spouse leave them and go after another person, or even cheat on them.
Some people are heartbroken because their brothers who are doing well and are suppose to help them have left them suffering. You can develop a heart ache when somebody you trusted so much betrays you.
The death of a loved one can cause someone heartbreak. You experienced a terrible bad situation in the past and your heart broke. The inner hurt you experienced may pass beyond the hematological, penetrate into the dermatological and flow into the cardiovascular organs that even the mental faculties may have attracted the horrible impact of the disorder. This can lead to strange sicknesses in the body. Often times, we try to cure the effect without proper diagnosis and handling of the causes of some sicknesses. Many doctors have done their best trying to cure you and they never new that the primary causes of what you are passing through is heartbreak. This is because: man is a physic-psycho-pneumatic personality. That you have forgotten about it does not mean it has been healed. I am praying God to grant you healing today because He is a specialist in healing the brokenhearted.
Heartbreak can feel like a physical wound. In fact, it can have many of the same dangers and complications than an actual physical injury would bring. Emotions affect your body and the stress that follows heartbreak can do real damage to your body. It is very painful. Unlike physical injuries, however, emotional wounds will not close on their own. You must put forth the work to reach for emotional healing and allow God to help you mend your broken heart.
People get so depressed, lonely and sad because of heartbreak. That is why ministers of God should be careful of the kinds of sermon they give, because they are handling broken personality. Their words should help people find succor at a time of heartbreak. Many who are coming to church are not coming to join any pious association, but to receive comfort and consolation .The church is a body of Christ, therefore it should be a spiritual clinic where people should come and find succor and comfort. People should come and smile when the world has made them sorrowful.
No matter how deep the inner hurt or how long the heartbreak has been, it takes God a second to heal you. I peter 2:24 says that you are healed by the wounds of Jesus. Are you emotionally destabilized, physically hurt, and spiritually mesmerized? I pray for your physic-psycho-pneumatic healing. Psalm 34:18 says, ‘’the lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in the spirit.’’ God is always close to those who are hurt and in need of healing. It makes no different to God whether His children are feeling the pain of a physical injury or suffering from an emotional wound. He does not leave anyone to suffer their pain alone instead: He helps those who are hurting so that they can find healing. I pray that the good Lord will heal your inner hurt today, and restore all that you have lost as a result of this in Jesus Name, Amen.
Biblical instances of heartbreak
You are not the first person whose heart has been broken. God himself suffered from heartbreak. In the Garden of Eden in Genesis when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruits and then consequently the falling of man, God regretted ever creating man. God’s heart was broken.
The Israelites suffered heartbreak in the land of Egypt. In Exodus 2, they were so tortured to the point where Pharaoh ordered the killing of their baby boys in order to reduce their number. That was when Moses came forth whom God used to deliver them from the hands of the Egyptians.
Job who was a righteous man was heartbroken. He was a wealthy man but everything he had was swept away in a twinkling of an eye. Job was so heart broken but at the appointed time, because of his Faith and trust in God, He healed him. In Job 19:25 he exclaimed, ‘’Now I know my redeemer liveth’’.
What kind of heartbreak will you have that will be equated to Joseph’s own? His brothers hated him to the extent that they wanted him dead. They sold him into slavery where he was false fully accused that he attempted to rape the Potiphar’s wife in Gen.39. This landed him in prison. You can imagine the heartbreak.
Mary and Joseph were heartbroken when Jesus was born and Herod ordered the killing of children in order to kill the child Jesus in Mathew 2. Mary was heartbroken seeing Jesus hanging on the cross, when He committed no offence.
Jesus was heartbroken seeing the kind of death He was going to undergo. When He went to Gethsemane to pray in Math.26, He was so anguished and distressed to the extent that He told His apostles, ’’my soul is crushed with grief to the point of death’’. Also, when Peter denied Jesus three times that he did not know Him, Jesus was heartbroken. What about Judas who Jesus trusted and made His treasurer but later betrayed Him?
In John 11, Mary and Martha had heartbreak because Lazarus died, but when Jesus came, they received comfort and consolation because Jesus resuscitated him.
Consequences of heartbreak
If you grief for so long and refuse to move on from heartbreak, then you are a potential stroke patients, a potential candidate for premature death, a potential mad person and a suicidal candidate. Heartbreak can have an effect on one’s brain. Neurological break down, paralysis, insomnia, confusion, worries, migraine, anxieties, anger, frustration, transferred aggression, tension and depression may set in. Do you know that heartbreak can make somebody commits suicide? It can indirectly cause one miscarriage, and to be emotionally destabilized. Someone can become senile and a psychiatric patient. It can lead to premature aging. Heartbreak can trigger off a negative emotion that can induce turmoil, so that one may begin to suffer from cancer. Anger that emanates from heartbreak can lead to ulcer. Marital break down is not out of it.
Prevention of heartbreak
- Eliminate expectation: people with broken heart have one thing in common- having expectation of how someone else is suppose to act, feel, think, speak and behave. If you never want to experience heartbreak, eliminate all expectations from your relationship.
- Consider yourself unworthy for any thing good, so that when something good eventually comes, you will not see it as a right but as a privileged.
- Do not regard and struggle for the thing of this world. Leave everything to God who is the master planner. Nobody ever knew that the Israelites who were in slavery in Egypt will one day become free. Nobody ever imagined that Joseph will one day become the prime minster of the whole country.
- Have faith in God. If you do not want to experience heartbreak, stop putting your trust on human beings. Human being can fail, disappoint but God will never disappoint you. Have that at the back of your mind that a person you are relating with can err because he is human, so that when they eventually misbehave you will not be surprised.
- If you do not want to experience heartbreak, do not boast of anything, with any body because anything can happen, and you do not know what tomorrow might bring.
- Another way of guarding your heart from heartbreak is that you should believe that God can supply all your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Forget about what man can do for you. Don’t even look up to anybody as a messiah to help you. It is only God who can help.
- Learn to prioritize happiness, and also learn to take some things for granted. Do not get easily provoked no matter what people do to you.
Ways of healing a broken heart
Take heart, you will get through it: having a heartbreak is going to hurt. You could lose your appetite as well as your desire to do much of anything but lay in bed and ache. It is possible that you may experience shortness of breath from crying. Your ribs may ache and your eyes may swell. It is almost like your heart will burst. Confusion might rule your brain. But you will get through this. These intense symptoms begin to subside a little after some times. The problem is you may be letting this one event blind you so you cannot see the good things happening in your life. Consider the tens of millions who have gone through what you are experiencing. They made it and so will you.
Get support: Talk to someone who care. It is amazing how much better you feel when there is someone you can talk to who totally understand what you are going through. So find a friend or family member, someone you can trust to keep your secret and talk it out. Some one who may be older than you and has more experience with heartbreak is wonderful. They tell you how they lived and moved on and help you out very much.
Be mindful of self-talk: those feelings that result from heartbreak can drive people to say terrible things to devalue themselves. So try to ship your perspective from focusing on the negative to recognizing the positive.
Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain: one of the ways we know we are human is that we feel pain. Going through heartbreak can be very difficult, but it is important to let some of the emotions out. Find a place where you are comfortable and if possible, let the tears flow. It is our body‘s way of ridding itself of the pain and hurt. It is only when you feel the pain that you are able to honestly deal with it and move on.
Take your broken heart to God: Heartbreak can cause one to feel wide varieties of emotion, but the bible points us to a greater love. God does not love like humans love. His love is unconditional. Find time to stay alone with God, and hold firm to His word. It is not a time to seek for wrong advices from friends. You also need to forgive the person who has broken your heart. Leave vengeance for God. Ps.147:3 says, He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Your pain is not hidden from God, rather he offers you relief and healing when you approach Him. God is the only one who can heal your broken heart. John14:27 says, ’’peace I leave with you , my peace I give to you, not as the world gives , do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid’’. Peace can be a hard thing to find when your heart is hurting. You may be trapped in sorrow. You may be angry at yourself or at the people who hurt you. You may be afraid of never recovering or of being hurt again. When such negative emotions overwhelm you, turn to God, He will help you find peace.
Give yourself time to heal: if your heart has been broken, it will take time for you to get healed. At the initial time, you might think you will never feel normal again, but it is amazing to see how your human spirit comes back after some times. Sooner or later, you will begin to feel alive again and you will learn to accept this new feeling. So don’t fight the healing process: be patient with yourself, you will get through this.
Learn lesson from the experience: it is inevitable that you will experience difficult times sometimes in life. The question is: can you learn from the experience? If you do not learn, you will keep doing the same thing over and over again, and getting the same response. The process of moving on from a broken relationship can be an opportunity for growth and self- betterment. So during this time of hurt, you might want to ask yourself some meaningful questions that can help you to be better equipped for your next relationship.
Move on: the end of a relationship can feel devastating. It can be hard to sleep, eat or concentrate. It may even feel like you do not know what direction your life will take now. But do not give up and do not lose hope, even as you are grieving over the situation. Grieving after heart break can be done in a healthy way that points you towards healing. To heal faster, and move on, you need to take care of yourself, keep yourself busy, and also use your time wisely. Since you are no more spending time with your partner, it can be tempting to spend that time wallowing in negative emotions like self-pity, rage and bitterness. So, It may feel good to get those feeling out of your mind, because they can do damage to your life if not balanced by other positive emotions. You can spend your time wisely by traveling to somewhere new that can be a healthy distraction from the places and routine that reminds you of your broken relationship. You can also learn something new that can provide you with sense of accomplishment that will boost your confidence and help you counter the negative emotions that come along with heartbreak.
Whatever you are trusting God for, believe it has already happen and praise God for it. Learn how to praise God in every situation. There is nothing happening to you that have not happened to someone else. Forget that person or thing that has broken your heart. The best is coming. God can heal you and restore all that you have lost at this time of grief. And remember: that the heartbreak you suffered might be God’s will. God must use an instrument to achieve a purpose. Maybe, He wants to take you to a higher position or connect you to a better person.
May the lord heal your broken heart. Today, I claim healing for you by the wounds of Jesus. By His wounds you are healed of any heart break and any other infirmities. Receive comfort and consolation from God. I believe that the future is pregnant with miracles, signs, wonders, appointment and success for you. Psalm 118 says, ‘’this is the day that the lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it’’. From today, every day will be for you a day of songs, praises and dancing. I declare you miraculously healed from every kinds of emotional hurt in Jesus Name, Amen.