SHOULD I ACCEPT HIM BACK?

By Fidelia Asogwa

Could this just be fate or what?  What could one term this situation? Why are my dried tears welling up again?  Does he worth it?  Can he ever be trusted again? 

Why me? Why are people thinking that I Ugomma should reconsider. Why should I reconsider him?  I don’t  want to hear this name Kelvin let alone having anything to do with him again.

At the beginning it was as if it would never be.  But along the line, I fell head on in love with him not minding where we met.

It all started at National Orthopedic Hospital, Enugu where Kelvin came to look after his mother who was operated on, on the left leg.  I also came to look after my mother who was involved in a motor accident.  We were all in the same ward. In fact, his mother was on bed 3 while mine was on bed 4.  Whatever any of us does, we see each other. I had stayed in the hospital for two weeks before his arrival and so I was the one who showed him how things were run around the hospital.

The day his mother was taken to the theatre, I stood by him to encourage him since I had similar experience just few days back.  He was in tears as the mother was crying when she was trying to wake up after the effect of the anesthesia started wearing off.  In fact, the experience was better imagined than witnessed.

The pain was so much that the health care providers were just prescribing drugs upon drugs to be administered to her.   At a time, Kelvin ran totally short of money as the hospital does not give anything on credit because the personnel there work independently of one another.   If the pharmacy within the unit does not have the drugs prescribed for you, you are to go to the outside pharmacy at the main gate to purchase.  And there, you must pay in cash before any drug is given to you.

Kelvin in tears ran back to the ward as the money he took to the main gate pharmacy to  get some drugs for the mother was not enough.   He had only one thousand four hundred naira and the drug he was given the name to purchase cost five thousand three hundred naira.  The mother was in serious pain and needed that drug to get some relieve.

Seeing him in tears looking at the mother helpless on the bed, I dipped hand into my bag and gave him four thousand naira so he can add the one he has to get the drugs for the mother.  He was so grateful as he ran back to the pharmacy to get the drugs.

I kept on helping him for the three months we   stayed there before we were discharged from the hospital.  Even their final bill, I added over thirty thousand naira to make sure the mother was discharged.

But before we were discharged from the hospital, I and Kelvin were already in love with each other as we found out we had a lot in common.

After we left the hospital, I told my elder brother who works at Port-Harcourt about him.  And as God may have it, he helped Kelvin to secure a job in Benin through the help of a friend.  I was so happy that at last he was able to get a job after he left the university six years ago.  He was so happy that he always thanked God for bringing me into his life.

For his intelligence and smartness in the discharge of his duties, he was promoted within six months of his employment.  That same month, he came to tell my people of his intention to marry me.  He was warmly accepted because most of my family members were already familiar with him right from the hospital.

I was the happiest person the day he came with his people to pay my dowry.  It was not just because he was caring and adoring but because he was my best friend; the man who understood the message in my eyes even without voicing out words.  He was all that I desired and was grateful having him.

Few weeks after paying  the dowry, we started  the wedding arrangements as his job does not give him time any longer to even wash his clothes.  He started eating out  constantly and packing his clothes to the dry cleaners to wash.  He was no more comfortable with such arrangement  and so we had to fast track the wedding.

Within this period, I was almost always on my way from Enugu here to Benin  to attend our marriage course as he preferred we both attend the course together  in one place and learn the teachings together.  I did not object  since that gave us more room to brainstorm together and plan things.

On one of the visits to my husband-to-be  around 11 pm, my phone rang.  I did not pick  the phone because the number was not in my contact and it was already late in the night.  But the phone kept on ringing and then Kelvin asked me to pick that the  caller might have serious message to tell me.  Based on his word, I picked the phone and behold it was Chioma, my chief bride’s maid-to-be that was calling in  a distressed voice.

I got up from the bed in panic as I asked   where she was.  She then told me that she had been redeployed from  Kaduna to Benin by NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) and that the bus  arrived late and  she does not have anywhere to spend the night.  I quickly asked the details of the park she was and then begged Kelvin to drive me there.

She was looking so tired and devastated as her phone and money were taken away by armed robbers that attacked them on their way.  She only got the phone she used in calling me by someone she met in the park.

We  took her home and calmed  her down from the robbery attack incident.  That was her first time encountering armed robbers on the way.  I quickly ran her water to bath and gave her food to  eat.  When she became relaxed, I took her to the   guest room.  The next morning, she went to the secretariat and joined her colleagues there.  We were only talking on the phone as I gave her one of mine to be using.

Few months later, I told Kelvin for us to print our wedding cards and start distributing since it was just remaining two weeks to complete the marriage course but he told me to wait till we conclude the course.  I told him we must not wait until we conclude the course before we can start printing and distributing invitation cards, yet he insisted we must conclude before taking any further step.

I kept quiet as I continued to buy things gradually in readiness for the wedding.  One thing that made me so uncomfortable  was the fact that  Kelvin was no more too eager and desperately in need to  wed me. I didn’t say anything but was only imagining things in my mind.

I then had to call Chioma to tell her the development concerning Kelvin’s cold feet over our wedding.  I had wanted to go over to her lodge to see her but she told me not to come as she was not in Benin at that moment. I had already bought the gown I wished her to wear as my chief bride’s maid.  But she told me to hold it till she gets back to fit the cloth on.  I then brought the gown back to Enugu only to hear in rumour that Chioma was preparing for her traditional wedding.  I was speechless and could not believe it. I wondered why she should hide her marriage from me.  In anger over such attitude and to clear myself of the rumour, I went over to her family house only to see her in knickers with her navel showing in the spaghetti top she was putting on.  I could not believe my eyes with such sudden transformation in her looks and bigger breasts size.  She was not happy to see me and did not allow our eyes to meet throughout my stay there.

I then asked her if it was true she was preparing for her traditional marriage but she debunked it and said it was a rumour. I also asked her who was responsible for her pregnancy but she told me it belonged to a friend she would soon introduce to me.  I became confused wondering how she could be my chief bride’s maid with pregnancy.  To safe myself of further confusion, I left for my house.

Three days later, Kelvin in company of his eldest brother came to my house to ask my father to give them back the dowry they paid on my head that another woman had mistakenly taken in for Kelvin. And so he has decided to marry the woman carrying his child.  When he finally broke the news that the woman was Chioma, the girl I introduced to him as my chief bride’s maid to be, I fainted.

I later woke up in the hospital to see my family members around the bed.  My tears were uncontrollable and they kept on calming me   down that the man was never meant for me.  I could not believe it because we were soul mate.  What went wrong? What have I done to deserve such betrayal?

After some days, my aunty came and took me to Balyelsa in order to help me recover from the shock as she was a psychologist.  Every day she would preach, encourage, pray and do several things just to get my mind off Kelvin.

It was the most horrifying moment of my life because I had never experienced heart break let alone of that magnitude.  At a time, I was no longer myself as I would always talk even while alone.  My aunty subjected me to treatments and therapies to make sure I did not start  picking objects on the street.

Six months  to my stay with my aunty, my mother called me to tell me that Chioma was in the mortuary as she could not wake up from caesarian section performed on her to deliver her baby.  I was not happy over the news but told my mother I would not attend the burial because people might start pointing fingers at me that I killed her but then I never wished her evil not minding the betrayal.

After the burial, Kelvin and his mother came to my family begging for forgiveness that the law of karma had caught up with him. Kelvin was begging my mother to give him my new number because I no longer use the old one as part of the strategy to put behind my past.

Kelvin had refused to leave my family house as he was always there crying and pleading that they should show him where I am because his life would be useless without me.  Truly I felt sorry for him but I can’t go back to him as I would be wedding with another man in five months time.  I had already told the new man about my heartbreak experience and he was ready to do anything to make sure I am happy.  But the truth of the matter is that I am still in love with Kelvin even with all the betrayal experience.  I had tried to develop feelings for this new man but it has been difficult yet his adoring attitude has made me to play along. He does not know I do not love him.  I can’t betray his true love and shatter his heart all because of Kelvin.  My people won’t  even like to hear that I still love him from my heart. Please what do I do?  I am totally confused.  Should I take back the man that shattered my heart who has a son with my closest friend and then shatter the heart of the man who adores me?  Or should I go on and get married to the man I do not love   or have feelings for leaving behind the love of my life who has hurt me so much? Please  help me with your advise in this critical life decision.

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